I head to the gym to have my first meeting with my personal trainer this afternoon. She told me to wear underwear or a bikini so that we could do before photos and since I don't have a bikini I guess I am wearing undies. Do they even make bikinis in my size? I sure hope not! I don't think I will be posting my before picture unless I am totally successful at the weight loss I want to achieve. Then I might think about it...maybe.
I feel like it is time for myself. The past eight plus years have been devoted wholly to everyone BUT me and my body has definitely suffered for it. I am ready to take care of myself. I realize that I have a lot of work ahead of me. A LOT OF HARD WORK! I have neglected this body for so long that it has mutated into a rolly, lumpy, saggy, 200lb mess! Yep that is right, 200lbs! Last night I had to buy some new pants because I only have one pair that actually fit. I have always told myself that I would never ever weigh that much. The problem, for me, is that I can feel the extra weight like when I bend down to pick up toys and my gut is in the way and my legs don't bend as far as they should or when I am doing average everyday activities and I am breathless and sweaty. It just isn't right! I know that my body vaguely remembers a more active and healthier life. As I drive down the street in the summer, I see a bunch of guys playing soccer and every part of me wants to get out there and play but then I remember that I couldn't even make it the length of the field without dying first. I don't feel like I think about myself in a negative light. I do love my body. I love what it has accomplished. Bringing children into this world is not an easy task. My body has created and sustained life, my breasts have given nourishment, my arms have held and loved the ones I care most about, I don't know what my back fat has ever done for anyone... well I take that back, it is cold and soft and Madse loves to feel it ha ha! I just know that my body is capable of more than I have been allowing it.
I want this change and I am ready for it. I am ready to start paying my body some much needed attention. I deserve it!
12 comments:
I am so jealous of you and your personal trainer! You made me laugh so hard about the back fat...your whole post made me laugh. Good luck with the weight loss, and have fun taking your pictures!
Good luck!!! You do deserve it. I can't wait to see your success.
I am so proud of you, you totally desire it.. I know you can do. just have fun and don't get to fusterated, it takes time and lots of hard work but it will get easier as you go. love ya
You are so awesome and I know you can do it!! You deserve to start taking care of yourself!
I'll even voluteer Jeff as a jogging partner for you if you need one!
You go girl. I'm right there with ya! I'll jump on that wagon in a while after I pop out number 4, but I really liked your post and what you wrote about all the wonderful stuff your body has done, that was really well put! Good luck, you'll do great.
I wish that I had a personnal trainer, I am jealous but I know you can do it, I have total FAITH in you. And I wanna see the results.
Love your guts and liver
GOOD FOR YOU!!!! It is sooo important to take care of yourself so you can take care of others. I learned that the hard way. I made myself so sick at times that I was in bed for days...and how is that helping any one.
But GOOD FOR YOU!!!! You need to get out...You do deserve it!!!
Go Ramanda! And honey, don't get too discouraged about your weight.. I wish I weighed that much!! I did a similar blog earlier, you will have to read it, but good luck and you're beautiful either way! :)
Oh...I am right there with you girl! I have SO let myself go. I am always last on my list! Not anymore! Actually I have been working out in the morn with your ma! Well, just started this week:) We can do this girl! I will message you time to time on myspace to see how your doing, it always helps to have someone checking on your progress!!YAY for us!
You truly are an amazing person Ramanda!! I admire you in so many ways. You have such a joy and zest for life, you desire this time for YOU!! Stay positive and have fun!! Your trainer, Tara, is the BEST!!
You deserve to do something for you. I can tell just by reading about your day to day life that you give so much to your family. Good luck to you...you will do great!
Doing things for myself is the only way I can get through the day!! You go GIRL and do it! I will be cheering you on...with whatever you want to do! I think you are beautiful! But I so agree on the back fat, and all the other sagging parts haha! It totally sucks!!! I need to get my butt moving more! Teaching dance is just not enough anymore...sucks for me!
Good Luck!!!!
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