I am fascinated by birth stories and I am in awe of the whole birthing process. After reading my friend,
Kness's blog, it inspired me to reminisce about each of my babies' journeys into my waiting arms and into our growing family. I am pretty sure that this is going to be a novel of a post and I will be thoroughly impressed if anyone drudges though it!
Ashley Creek~ Feb 17th 8lbs 6 oz. 21 in.
The instant I peed on that stick and there was a +, I thought that I HAD to start wearing maternity clothes and eating for two. What was I thinking!? At the time we were living with Michael's parents in their dungeon...er basement. I was a sicky pretty much the whole time and add a bad bladder to that and it was makings for a pissy/puky disaster! I had an amazing midwife and my pregnancy was pretty much effortless! At my baby shower, my aunt Sue gave me this book:
It became my bible and with a little convincing (ok a lot of convincing! Mike thought that he didn't need to do anything in delivery and I didn't agree so I pulled out the tears), Michael got on board too. My aunt Sue was a pivotal reason that I chose to have natural child birth. She had all five of her boys c-section and she regretted never getting to experience natural child birth. Contractions started on a Thursday and Mike insisted on staying home from work to record the contractions. My mother in law had made me a hair appointment and I thought it would have been rude to cancel so I went and got my hair done. All of the ladies in the salon thought I was crazy! Looking back on it, it was pretty silly of me. It was so uncomfortable and it wasn't a very flattering haircut. My mom called me at the salon and I told her that she had better start on the road. They drove from Vernal in blizzard like conditions to be with me. Michael and I left for Salt Lake City at nine p.m. We had to lock in the hubs and drive in four wheel drive in a snow storm thirty minutes to Salt Lake Valley Regional. That was a VERY long drive! I spent a lot of time in a huge tub that was in my room. Laboring in water is so amazing! It feels as if the water is absorbing the brunt of the contractions. My contractions were so intense but my water wouldn't break. I would lose focus and my calm and I would start shaking and puking but Mike would talk to me and help me refocus. I kept having the urge to "go" if you know what I mean and all of the sudden....SHAZZAM... water EVERYWHERE!!! Mike's pant legs were soaked! Speaking of Michael, I am going to brag about his doula skills! He is the best coach! He rubbed my back for hours straight and was always helping me concentrate. He should think about it as a career! The hospital contacted my midwife, who had delivered three babies in the last twenty four hours so she was sleeping and thought she had time to get there. The nurses kept having me breathe through the pushing contractions until she arrived but the baby had other plans. My midwife got there as Ashley's head was crowning and at 3:11 am she made her debut. She had lots of auburn hair and she was fat and perfect! My mother, father, and my little sister Royeal were there to experience it with me and my mother and father in law waited out in the hall and came in the minute she was born. What a way to bring a child into this world surrounded by so much love and support. Giving birth is such a spiritual experience for me! To have a little soul straight from our Father's arms, to be given stewardship over such a tiny helpless thing, to know that I had a hand in creating such a miracle! A couple of days after being home, we were admitted to the hospital in Tooele because Ash had jaundice. I get the whole postpartum depression and I was so bummed to have to be back in the hospital and not be able to cuddle and love on my new baby.
The whole pregnancy Mike and I debated about names and we just could never agree. His eighty year old Grammy suggested that we name her Ashley Creek after a creek that runs through the Uintah Basin and if we would name her that she would do a jig for us. Those were her exact words! How could we pass up the chance to see her do a JIG!! So that is how she got her name! Grammy denied ever saying that should would dance and when we got her to admit it she would always tell us she would do it later. The big stinker!
When Ashley was six months, I found out that I was pregnant again. We were in Williams, California for a construction job when I found out. November 2000, I had a miscarriage at thirteen weeks. It was a terrible experience! We went to the emergency room twice only to be sent home. In the middle of the night I was soaked in blood. We had to throw away the sheets and my underwear. My experience at the hospital was horrible. Mike was in the waiting room with a sleeping Ashley while I was in this trauma room in the ER right next to the swinging doors. It was so cold and I was in an unspeakable amount pain. It was the worst labor I have ever been through. So much pain and you leave with nothing. I had an emergency D&C. I suffered with extreme depression for months after that. I feel like I went through that experience so that I could understand and help my dear friend who went through the same thing just weeks later. I believe that I will get a chance to raise that baby in the eternities and it makes me grateful for an eternal plan.
Michael Lilianne~ November 15th 7lbs 11oz. 20 in.
Mikie was by far my easiest pregnancy! She barely moved! I swear she just sat in my womb and sucked her little thumb contentedly. I did have more aches in my hips and my legs would cramp up in the morning and it would take like fifteen minutes to get them to unstiffen.I started having contractions on Tuesday night at Mutual. Gwen, one of my miamaids, and a kid named Tyson was sitting by me and she kept saying, "You're going to have that baby tonight!" I reassured her that it was just practice contractions and that I probably had another week to go. All night I worked through contractions that got stronger and stronger. At three in the morning I woke up Mike because I couldn't handle contractions on my own. I NEEDED my coach. It was always my desire to stay home as long as possible because it is just so much more comfortable to labor at home. I spent a couple of hours laboring in the tub. Early in the morning my mom picked Ashley up. Around eight, my contractions were so intense that I knew it was time to go. As we were driving up Main street, Tyson saw us and followed us to the hospital. He was so excited that he had been a part of it all the night before and he couldn't wait to go to school and tell Gwen. I was so not in the mood to talk to him. I would have to stop in the middle of the parking lot and put all of my weight on Michael during constant contractions. We checked in and like the first time, my water hadn't broke yet. Unfortunately there was no tub at Ashley Valley Medical Center but fortunately I didn't have time to even worry about it. I knew this little baby was coming VERY soon! I kept having the same urges to "go #2" as the first time. I had a really knowledgeable nurse this time and she helped me try different squatting positions. I was straddling the hospital bed and my water exploded. An hour later that baby was on it's way. My doctor came in to check on me but had to immediately put on a gown, threw his tie over his shoulder, and knelt down and caught the baby. On the way out, the umbilical cord pushed over Mikie's face and bruised it and popped the blood vessels in her eyes. The cord then became wrapped around her neck choking her. She was a deep purple and it was a little shocking. I called her my little purple plum! She was noticeably smaller and I could tell during delivery because her head felt smaller. She had dark hair and she was just so beautiful and fragile looking. Later that day, Gwen and Tyson came to visit and brought balloons. What sweet kids! Mikie too had jaundice but I learned from my last experience and insisted on being sent home with the billy lights. She was under the lights during Thanksgiving but we took a little break to go to my aunt Sue's. We have never found out the sex of our babies. We really like the surprise, so with Mikie we agreed that boy or girl, the baby would be named after Michael and it fit her so well.
Madse Davenport~ August 11th 7lbs. 11oz. 21in.
Another easy and effortless pregnancy! The pregnancy things comes so easily for me! I could be pregnant forever! Even though we do not find out the sex our babies, I knew in my heart that this one was going to be a boy. I craved jr. bacon cheese burgers and Mtn. Dew the entire pregnancy! I loved being pregnant in the summer. I was able to be more active and I wasn't as hungry as I was with my winter pregnancies. The night before I went into labor, I was at a local quilt guild quilting retreat and I was complaining about being so miserable and having all of these contractions for the past twenty four hours that weren't going anywhere and I said, "I have to have this baby tomorrow! I am ready to be done!" Low and behold the next day I went into labor. Madse's labor was crazy intense from the very beginning! The contractions were killer hard but I was determined to stick it out at home. It is a huge blessing that I had my mom to help with the other kids. In our house in Naples, we had this huge garden tub and I lived in it during this labor because the contractions were so fierce. My whole neighborhood knew I was expecting any minute, that as we drove down the street, there were neighbors out on their front porches waving to us as we drove down the road to the hospital. This labor was so trying. I just knew the baby was coming any minute but my hopes were dashed when we got to the hospital and I wasn't dilated very much. It was slow going and HARD WORK!! My doctor was out of town and so the attending physician came and introduced himself. I told him not to go far because I knew it was about time. Since I was in labor so long, I was very dehydrated by the time we got to the hospital. The nurses could get a vein for an IV. I was pricked so many times by four different nurses and over both arms and hands until they found a sufficient vein on my hand. My aunt Sue came by and rubbed my feet and was a huge encouragement. After close inspection, the doctor informed me that My water was double bagged and that I was dilated far enough that he could break it and get things progressing or that I had the option of waiting it out. I am a zealot when it comes to doing it all natural but man I was ready to get that baby here that I opted for the breaking my water. As soon as the doctor did that, that baby was on it's way. The nurses were having me breathe through pushing contractions so they could set up everything. The baby came so fast that he slipped right out of the doctor's hands right into the bag of goop on the floor! The doctor looked up at me then looked back to the floor and grabbed him up by the arm and handed him to the nurse saying, check that arm. I felt it pop out of socket." He turned back to us, noticeably embarrassed, and said, "That has never happened in my whole career!" Mike replied,"Does this mean that we get the delivery for free?" The poor guy was not in the mood for joking. It all happened so fast that all I remember thinking was "Is it my boy? Is there boy parts? I was barely conscious of the fact that my brand new baby was just DROPPED! It is so difficult to find the words to explain how it feels to have this new baby, with new eyes placed in your arms after nine months of anticipation and the swelling in your chest when you put them to your breast and they take to it so naturally. It is a little piece of heaven. We left the hospital with no name for this baby. Michael insisted that he be named after Johnny Cash. I did not want my son named after some country singer that cheated on his wife and was a drug addict. We discussed it heatedly for a whole week! Mike had two other options, Madse and Solomon, Madse was the name I disliked the least. Madse had jaundice as well. We finally found out that Michael and my blood type are incompatible and cause an Rh problem and that all our babies will have jaundice. By this time, I was a pro at the whole Billy lights thing. He was under the lights the longest and I really struggled with postpartum depression and with this irrational anxiety. It was so bad that I could not leave my house and at the thought of anything that was stressing or the thought of not being able able to know what was going to happen like going to check ups etc, would set me off. I would have anxiety attacks and my heart would hurt so bad and I couldn't breathe and I would just break down crying. I would panic and sob as I drove down the street. Looking back, I don't know why I didn't ever address these issues with my doctor. I just thought I was strong enough to deal with it.
May Marial~ May 14th 8lbs 11 oz. 21 in.
I got pregnant with May when Madse was barely one. I had been pregnant and nursing and FAT for so long that I was kind of looking forward to a break. Mike teased me and said that he was just poking around (wink wink) and I took him seriously. When I first found out that I was pregnant I was a little frustrated that that break wasn't coming anytime soon. After having been pregnant so many times the novelty wore off and the last delivery was still fresh in my memory, I spent the whole pregnancy syking myself up for giving birth. I don't mean to sound negative, because I really do love being pregnant, It was just that my body was really tired and I think mentally I was tired. We were also dealing with the failing health of Michael's grandpa and I was going over there to help him get dressed in the mornings, going to the bathroom, and getting to bed at night. I just felt like I had a lot going on at the time. It was an easy pregnancy and it was a neat experience to have the kids be so excited about a new sibling. It was so precious to see the looks on the kids' faces when the baby in my belly would move and they could feel it. They would talk and sing to the baby and kiss my belly. In the latter part of my pregnancy, Michael took a job in colorado and was only home on weekends. That past anxiety kicked back in I worried about whether I would have this baby in Vernal or in Colorado and I stresssed about packing up a house all by myself, and I didn't want to leave Mike's grandparents because their health was failing so quickly and the depended on me for a lot of their daily care. My in laws were in town to spend Mother's Day with Grammy and they were staying with us. Saturday night I went into labor. Sunday morning, I woke with the intentions of going to church to distract me from the contractions. After a shower, I knew that church was not an option that day. In Vernal, there is a program on the local radio station called Sounds Of Sunday. It was Mother's day and every song and talk was about mothers. What a beautiful and awe inspiring experience it is to bring a baby into this world on a day that we express love and appreciation for our mothers. It was such an amazing spiritual experience and my heart was full. A quote that I heard that day touched me so deeply,“Motherhood, is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels." This is where my experience gets really personal and I vividly remember what it felt like and I feel like it is appropraite to tell it now. At this moment, I felt the presence of my older brother who had past away years ago, comfort and calm me. I have felt his presence during all of my other deliveries but this time his presence was so tangible. I know that he was there with me. I feel like the veil was thin that beautiful day and I was allowed to have his peaceful spirit to watch over and protect me. I was sensitive to everything kind thing that everyone did for me that day. My sister in law, Denise, helped get my kids ready for church, she rubbed my freezing feet to warm them and layered on plenty of socks to get me warm. I was shaking because I was so cold. She piled on blankets and kept the house quiet. I have never told her how much that meant to me. As everyone headed to church, Michael and I headed to the hospital. During this labor I was so cold and I just could not get warm enough. My nurse was not used to natural labor so she hovered and was extra thoughtful. She warmed saline bags and put them on my hands, feet, and back. She was afraid to leave and just sat in the chair next to me. I wouldn't categorize labor and delivery as painful but it is VERY hardwork and this delivery was pushing me to my limits. It was a very intense experience! I felt like my groin was on fire and I was doubting my capabilities to do it all without any drugs. Michael was very patient and encouraging but I wasn't comforted. All I remember really is that I knew that I could feel my brother support me through this one. That he was right there to offer his comfort and love. My memory about specifics gets a little fuzzy. I can not remember how my water broke. My doctor was shockingly in town this delivery and he let me do things my way though and that was nice. I remember working so hard to get her here and then all was calm, the stress was gone and a new little soul was placed in my arms. I kept saying," Oh we did so good! We did so good!"
Like every other pregnancy, Mike and I both vetoed each other's names. He was still shooting for Johnny Cash even for a girl and he liked Virginia and Josephine. I am sorry but I don't want my daughter's name sounding like a part of the female anatomy!! I was going for Evie or Elisabeth or I don't know what else just not his names. So Mike insisted on naming the baby before we left the hospital. We were throwing out names but none seemed to fit her. I casually mentioned that is was such a beautiful day outside and a wonderful time to have a baby and we looked at each other and knew that her name was May, not for the month necessarily but for the beauty of it. Now we had to figure out the middle name. We just got plain silly coming up with names that would sound comical. I thought Nor (my middle name) would be quite funny or flower, stuff like that but we got serious. We wanted to honor Mike's grandma and name her Marial.
Hallie DeeLoris~
I don't know how much Hallie weighed at birth or at what time. I will have momma Tiff write that down so that Hallie will know the details of her birth. I do know that Tiffany had a hard time getting miss Hallie here. I was so lucky to know Tiff when she was pregnant. She was beautiful pregnant! I got to feel Hallie move and kick inside her momma's tummy! I had a feeling that the baby inside of Tiffany's stomach was going to be my baby. I dismissed those feelings but secretly desired that it would come true. Tiffany and I spent a lot of time together and her family had us over for dinner quite a bit. Tiffany and I grew really close and I felt like I had known her forever. She would come over and watch movies and fold laundry and play with my kids. I loved rubbing her belly and watching her grow! I remember hearing that she had gone into labor and things were not going so well. Her pelvic bones were so small that she wasn't able to deliver naturally and was rushed in to have a c-section. I am so touched by all that Tiffany went through to bring Hallie into this world. I vividly remember seeing Hallie for the first time. Her head was still coneshaped and she was just so tiny and adorable. I remember holding her in my arms for the first time at dinner at the Hilllis'. Michael and I fought over who got to hold her. I kept telling Tiffany what a good job she had done! I babysat a lot for Tiffany and she would always come over with Hallie to visit. I nursed Hallie when Tiff was gone and the love I had for that little girl was just as stong as to love for one of my own. Those strong feelings and impressions that she was supposed to be my baby were so stong and deep. When Tiffany left for Texas I was sad to see them go. I wondered if I would even see them again and I doubted the feelings of assurance that Hallie was supposed to belong in our family but as they left our house for the last time I felt a confirmation that it all would turn out ok. In May, I recieve a text from Tiffany saying that her mom had arranged a family there in Texas to take Hallie but that it just made Tiffany sick to her stomach. She asked if we would be interested in adopting Hallie and my heart leapt! We bought our plane tickets and were out there a week later. I will admit that Michael and I had some apprehension about how it all was supposed to work and how Tiffany would handle the seperation. I was so worried about Tiffany and I was praying for her with all of my heart that she would be comforted and guided in her decision. That young woman is so absolutely amazing to me! The love that she has for her daughter and the understanding that she knew that we could provide for Hallie what she could not. She insisted that we take Hallie with us the first night we were there. Hallie was three and a half months. She did really well that first night and I cried myself to sleep at the thought of Tiffany's love and sacrifice for the good of her precious little baby. We spent a week with Tiffany and her sister Heather. We said our goodbyes in the parking lot and I just kept asking Tiffany if she was alright and she assured me that she knew that this was the right choice and that her Heavenly Father had chosen us and she felt the reassurance and peace. I cried as I put Hallie in the car and I cried as I embraced a young girl that had become like a sister to me. People say that adoption is easier than giving birth the traditional way but I feel like I have labored under stress and uncertainty through red tape and court hearing, an uncooperative sperm donor for almost two years now. I grow impatient for the day she will leagally and eternally be ours. I am so humbled and in awe of the gift that Tiffany has given us and I love her forever for it!
Hallie's favorite Elder Muro! 
My man Tarantini! He was here for seven months and is one of my all time favs!
Big T! I cut his hair! Brave kid! He is so hilarious and talented but humble about it!
Elder Muro's conversion story is amazing! 
Yup! We are COOL...ish!
Zmoos is the man form of me! He is just crazy fun and very at ease with his bodily functions!
My companion!
*pictures don't do justice to the damamge that was actually done!*
Monday I invited a few of my friends over for lunch. Talk about angels!!!! I don't know why I am so blessed to have such amazing friends! I am not as good of a friend to them as they are to me and yet they still like me and put up with me! How lucky can a girl get!?
