LONELY...OH SO LONELY

My big kids left me last Friday to spend some quality time with their grandma in Utah (I am pretty sure it is called "GETTING SPOILED"!)! I missed them the second they drove away! I didn't expect it to be so bad! I was totally looking forward to a little breather, a vaycay, some ME time but I have been in AGONY! I just don't know what to do with myself! I have realized how much they do for me and all of the things I have desperately missed about them since they have been gone even the stuff that I usually get a little frustrated by!

Fetching diapers

snuggle time with my Mikie

throwing away diapers

sweeping

vacuuming

giving me lots of kisses

playing with my hair

Ash's deep conversations

glass jars filled with grass and an assortment of bugs

playing with the babies

running up to the upstairs bathroom to bring me a roll of toilet paper

craft supplies strewn about the dining room table and floor

cleaning off the kitchen table

getting me the remote

the specks of toothpaste on the bathroom mirror

finding my cell phone (I don't mind shelling out a quarter)

help set the table

clearing the table

fighting over who gets to say prayers

hearing the latest little girl gossip

Littlest Petshops scattered throughout the house

Madse sneaking into bed with me in the wee hours in the morning

hearing uncontrollable giggling after I have warned them to go to bed... or else

etc. etc. etc...

They get back tomorrow and that just isn't soon enough! I have no life beyond my family and I am happy with that! Life without 'em just isn't as fun! I am going to be a wreck when they grow up and move out!!! Seriously...I literally get anxiety over the fact that my children are growing too quickly! I blink my eyes and they are smarter, more independent, bigger. It breaks my heart that one day they will fill their time with friends, hobbies, sports and the time they spend with me will be less and less and that their soft little new skin will change, there won't be little chubby naked bums running around after a bath, they will be too big to fit in my lap, they won't want to be sung to at night, no little ones under my feet, no little shadows, and that they will need me less. It's all just too fleeting!!

Marjorie Pay Hinkley brings me some comfort and puts things into perspective for me when she said,

"I couldn't possibly have understood this when I was young like I do now. When we look back on decades of life we see that the seemingly insignificant things we do over and over actually weave the pattern of our lives. And if those small and simple things are good, we will end up having lived a fulfilling life -- and that is a great thing!"

"We each do the best we can. My best may not be as good as your best, but it's my best. The fact is that we know when we are doing our best and when we are not. If we are not doing our best, it leaves us with a gnawing hunger and frustration. But when we do our level best, we experience a peace."

AND...

"Life is more than I ever imagined it would be."

I just hope that I can cram my brain full of the memories of my little ones and that those memories will always be with me even when they are not so little anymore.