In the heat of the moment, my experiences are traumatic, stressful, and extremely embarrassing but after I have time to calm down I am able to see the humor in them but the embarrassment never goes away. It is a constant reminder that God protects idiots and children ...so I am covered either way!
I had gotten in the shower and as always my two little ones followed me in there and started stripping down so that they could get in too. I hurriedly finished up in record time and plugged up the tub and put them in. While they played I looked in my drawer for clean underwear and I wasn't surprised to find none in there. It seems like my clothes are always the last to get washed. So I turned off the tub faucet and went in search for some clean undies. After searching through some baskets I realized that I was going commando until I did some laundry. I checked on the babies and they were having a great time so I start sorting whites for a load. In the middle of this task I had the great idea that I should listen to my ipod while I did laundry so that it wouldn't be so painfully tedious. I quickly threw on a t shirt and my hubbies basketball shorts and ran out the door to my car to retrieve my tape adaptor for my ipod. On the way to the car I notice that the garage door was open. "That's silly." I thought, "That will make the house get hot too quickly." So I shut the garage door and sprinted to the car. With tape adaptor in hand, I reached for the door handle....AND IT WAS LOCKED!!! Where are your other kids, you ask? Well they are in Utah and that leaves two helpless, waterlogged babies unattended in a bathtub! Seriously, this is just my luck! Leave to toddlers alone in the tub and then lock yourself out of the house! What kind of mom am I!?! BAD MOM! BAD MOM! So I went to the garage and turned the knob and SNAP... the wire broke and the garage door was not opening. I ran to the back sliding glass door to find it locked as well. What to do?! What to do?! I decided to run up the street to my friend and neighbor Tracey's house. "She has kids. I can have one climb through an open window and unlock the door." So with wet hair, no shoes, and going totally COMMANDO (no underwear) I sprinted full speed up the street with my arms folded across my chest to keep my boobs from flopping all over the place! Out of breath and providing little explanation I grabbed her son and said "I am borrowing your kid! I locked myself out and the babies are in the tub!" and we sprinted back and I tried with no success to pry off the screen of the living room window. There were no little tabs you pull on and I had nothing to pry the screen open with. I swallowed my pride and folded my arms across my chest again and ran next door to another neighbor to ask for a screw driver. My neighbor is a really nice guy who has helped me when I have had the water heater go out or lift heavy things but he is also the kind of guy that thinks women can't do things by themselves so he offered to come over and take care of the screen for me. I did not object and we ran back to my house. By this time I can hear May and Hallie screaming their heads off and of course I am glad that they are screaming because that means that they are breathing but other terrible thoughts ran through my head. "What if they have soap in their eyes? What if the water has turned cold and they are shivering?" The minute Blake had my screen off I literally picked up my little neighbor kid Tanner and tossed him through the window. He got in easily enough and opened the door quickly. What a guy! I yelled a quick "Thank you" over my shoulder and ran upstairs to my neglected and abused babies. To my relief they were fine even though they were a bit waterlogged. I, on the other hand, was a wreck! Self Loathing and guilt took over where the adrenaline had been and I got them out and dried them off and smothered them in hugs and kisses. Good thing they are clueless to my stupidity and good thing for neighbors who haven't called Social Services on me...yet!
9 comments:
ramanda, you are far from a crappy mom. you are such a fun mom, i'm jealous of your kids! it's ok to have those moments, i think we all do. you have a way of telling stories that is so entertaining, thanks for sharing! sorry it happened, but fun to read!:) you're awesome.
You're a great mom! You really are. And I love reading these stories.
Oh my heck, that is quite the story. I can tell that you are a great mom though, adn accidents happen. The lord was watching out for you...even if you were going commando!
Oh my gosh you make me laugh so much, and I can totally see myself doing the same thing. I hope it never happens, so if I am ever going comando and decide to go outside to grab my ipod while the kids are in the tub, I'll make sure and grab my keys. :)
LOL!!!! Who hasn't done something they felt deserved the "crappy mom" award...here is what I have learned...if you are worried about how good of a job you are doing at the whole parenting jig...then you are a good parent...it's the ones that are completely blahhhh and who don't care that are the ones that should realize that they are bad parents...Love you manda, that gave me some good chuckles but not at your expense, just in a been there done that sort of way...ttyl :O)
I am so sorry to laugh at your tragedy, but OH MY HELL!!! That is so FUNNY! I can totally see the whole thing happening. You are such a wonderful mother and your kids are so lucky to have you. HF was watching out for them (and you!) because you deserve it. YOu are amazing. I love your guts! COMANDO!!! tee he hee
Oh geez. I did this sort of thing once and it was totally my fault. I have a door that separates the living room from the rest of the house, it has a child lock on it so the babies don't go down stairs. I had to go down stairs so I locked it behind me not even thinking that the babies were in the living room all alone. Joaquin is not the kinda boy you leave to his own devices for even a second. Monro was riding his bike around the neighborhood so I had to scream out the bathroom window to get him to come help me. Finally he did and when I got out, Joaquin was climbing on the counter trying to get a cookie. It could have been so much worse. I am glad you and the babes are okay. Phew.
Holy Hell that is terrible but halarious, oh I can totally see your huge boobs hitting you in the face, good thing you folded your arms, haha you are a great mom and your family is so lucky to have you. we all do something like that with our kids, remember the last time both of our kids escaped around the same time??? love your guts and your liver
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