Why do I feel obligated to do goody bags for guests at my kids' birthday parties? Is that a must at a birthday party? It seems like it is just a waste of time, effort and money. The toys seem cheap and never last long or you spend a fortune on toys that end up getting tossed or end up as junk in their rooms and the last thing kids need is a bunch of candy after binging on cake and ice cream. Do the kids even care if they get a goody bag or is it just a way to thank the parents for the gift? Isn't it enough that you get a few hours away from your kid while they go to a party and play games and eat cake and ice cream and run around crazy with their little friends? I admit that I am cheap and it is embarrassing to say that the only motivation I had for doing goody bags in the past is to impress the moms of the kids. I know that is lame but that is what it feels like to me, an unspoken competition of who gives out the best goody bags.
I am leaning on not doing goody bags this year. I hope I don't traumatize any little kids by my decision. What is correct birthday etiquette?
7 comments:
I'm with ya girl. It can get expensive and yet you feel obligated to do it for some reason. Last year for one of my kids parties, I bought enough helium balloons for each "guest" which was only like .50 cents or less per balloon, the balloons helped decorated the party and then at the end, each kid got to take a balloon home, and trust me, they loved that and didn't even miss the dumb goody bag. So, just a suggestion. There's a lot of other cheap yet "cool" things to give that are even better than the goody bag! Good luck! ;)
I agree that it is only to impress the other Moms. I heard quote from someone that I just LOVED. It isn't really about kids' birthday parties but I think it pertains to this..."We spend money that we don't have, on stuff we don't need, to impress people that we don't even like." It is so true cuz if they were really that good of a friend they wouldn't really care if their kid got a goodie bag.
This year at Ethan's preschool I was invited to come and talk about him and show pictures. I am pretty sure that most of the other mom's brought some kind of treat...but he gets so much candy at preschool that I didn't want to add to the tooth decay of his class. The same day as him un-birthday party he came came with a bunch of candy from a pinata. I was so glad that I didn't take any treats. and I wasn't even doing it to be cheap...I was doing it cuz my son really doesn't need that much junk. wow this turned into a novel.
Dawson had his first offical friend party this last year (I don't believe in friend parties before they realize what friends are) and it was a pirate party. I'm way cheap too and am not out to impress. I just got a few things to decorate the table...eye patches, gold coins and necklaces. Then a few days before the party I found foam play swords at Target for $1...so I got each of the kids one and let them take an eye patch, some coins and a necklace along with a balloon. I haven't done goodie bags and I totally agree on there is no need for junk. I have done pinata's though and think that is always fun. I also don't order cakes. I make my own for around $2. Hmmm...I think goody bags are over rated. If that party's fun then the kids go home happy and that's all that matters. :)
Hey Ramanda, I feel your pain. If you noticed, I am all about simple and having the kids have fun and play with each other and then go home. I make my own cakes, use board games for entertainment and then something around a dollar for each child to take home. I'm not all about impressing moms. The goody bags don't have to be a competition.
Jen, I wish I was more like you! All those girls had a blast at your house!
By the way, you need to invite me to your new private blog! ramandan@gmail.com
For Raychel's party last year we had the slip and slip up, along with the pool, pizza,watermeleon, cake and ice cream, I was so worried about the weather I forgot the goodie bags, several mom's thanked me for not sending them home!! Here's a quote I love that I am starting to live by! It's by Marjorie Hinckley
"We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important an then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are."
I am with you, the gift you give the parents is entertaining their children while they are able to do something for themselves or with the other children!
I always get the balloons with rubberbands on the ends that you bounce and hit. I remember getting them in our Christmas stocking once when we were kids and it was the coolest thing ever...Cheap and meant to be thrown away when the air leaks out or they pop. (Although surprisingly that can take a while.) We do work to hard, and it gets to be more stress than fun.
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