Cut, Cut, Snip, Snip

It has been a week today since Madse had his surgery. I feel guilty about the whole thing because it is evidence of my faults and mistakes as a mother. When Madse was a newborn Michael and I debated whether or no to circumcise him and Michael felt really strongly that we shouldn't and I insisted that since he was and that was all I was familiar with, that we should go ahead and do the procedure. It took us a whole week to come to a decision and I got my way. I went against my husband's counsel. I didn't listen to my husband, who receives revelation for our family. I knew I had made the wrong decision as I stood beside the doctor and nurse as they performed the circumcision. It broke my heart to see him writhing in pain for something that was just cosmetic. No one told me how to care for a circumcised boy and I didn't know I was supposed to pull back the skin so the raw skin adhered to the head of his penis. (sorry if the P word makes any one uncomfortable.) Between job changes, no insurance and my ignorance we didn't take care of it until he was eighteen months when we took him to a urologist at Primary Children's Hospital. He gave us a steroid cream that helped pull the skin back but there was still too much skin that was too scarred and there wasn't much improvement. Fast forward four years, more job changes, a move, lack of insurance, and not in a place financially where we could take care of it and the guilt of not addressing the issue was too much for me to bear especially when he would ask me, "When are we going to get my wiener fixed?" I think it was starting to cause him some discomfort since he was growing but this is where I don't have any experience with boy parts and if it is normal for their bits to hurt. So I got him an appointment with the urologist and they scheduled surgery for the following week. Madse was SO brave! I even explained everything in detail and he still was excited to have the surgery. He started his fast the night before and after a father's blessing he went to bed early so he wouldn't be tempted to eat. We headed to the hospital at eight in the morning and got checked in. Every one was super nice to him and he got to pick out a pretty awesome spaceman hospital gown. The nurses were so kind and spoiled him with stickers and cartoons. They gave him a nasal spray to prepare him for anesthesia and then we waited for it to take affect. He was so loopy and smiley and then he would zone out and his eyes were all glassed over. I did my best to stay strong but inside I was so nervous about leaving him. The nurses wheeled him away and then kicked me out to wait anxiously in the waiting room. He was so much tougher than me! The surgery lasted about three hours and then the doctor came out to give me details. He said that it took longer than he thought it would because of all of the scar tissue. He also did an additional unexpected surgery on what is called the meatus. His was too small causing him to pee upwards. Here again is where that guilt comes in. It never occurred to me that that is why he leaned so far over the toilet when he peed. Yup, just take away my mommy license. I am so clueless! I was able to be with him in recovery. When he came to he was in so much pain and was in tears. I tried to calm him and he looked up at me and said,"I am trying to stop crying but I just can't stop!" So heartbreaking! If I could have, I would have taken his pain so he didn't have to suffer. He grabbed at the bandage and pulled it off. It was so sad. They had to fix the dressings and they gave him morphine but he was still in so much pain. The nurse finally pin pointed the cause of the pain to the tape that was too tight around his scrotum. once they removed the tape he was able to calm down.

Poor fella doesn't know what I've gotten him into! He's all pre-surgery smiles!

The nasal spray was working and Sponge Bob was funnier than usual but he was too slow to laugh at the jokes.

Post surgery. Before we figured out what was causing him so much pain, the nurses moved him out of the recovery room to a room with a TV to see if cartoons would calm him. What a tough little guy!

He had to breathe the oxygen to keep his oxygen levels up. The cup makes it easier on kids instead of having the tubes that go up their nose. An alarm would go off if his oxygen was too low. He thought is was a fun game to breathe hard to get the alarm to stop. It didn't take too long before he was sick of that game.

After fasting all night, breakfast, and then lunch he was starving and so was I. I thought it was unfair to eat anything when he couldn't so I fasted too. The nurses fed him jello and juice but he was beyond starving. I promised him a Happy Meal for being so brave and as we were waiting to be discharged at about one in the afternoon, our neighbor/bestie and my hero, Tracy, came in with a Happy Meal in her hand and a snack for me! After a stressful and emotionally exhausting five and a half hours in the hospital, to have her show up and to know that she was thinking about us brought a ray of sunshine into my heavy heart! She stayed and helped us out to our car. You can't find a more generous and Christlike friend than Tracy! The nurses sent Madse home with all sorts of goodies and were so helpful. The lady at the front desk even loaded him up with coloring books, crayons and hats for him and his sisters. She sent along a few barf bags, which we had to use when he lost his lunch as I was getting his prescriptions at the pharmacy. I am so glad they thought to give us those! The barf bags were awesome! It looked like a frisbee and when you fill it lengthens into a plastic tube! Pure genius! The first day home was a bit rough. He was sick from the medication and in a lot of pain. I put him in one of Mike's t-shirts and he went commando underneath. The next day was better and by the evening we were able to take off the dressings which was a daunting, slow, and painful task. His little man bits looked like frankenstein parts with all of the stitches and he was so bruised and swollen! He was having second thoughts about having the surgery done and was asking for his old weiner back. I put a antibiotic cream on four times a day the doctor said it will take about two or three months before it looks normal.After a week there has already been major improvement. He is still going commando but he can wear loose pajama pants. I had to borrow some from Tracy (If they move in the middle of the night, I will know that I drove them away with my constant moochiness!) because all of Madse's pj pants were too tight. We have a follow up appointment to remove the stitches in a week. I am so glad that children are so resiliant. I just hope I haven't scarred him for life and that he can forgive me for my mistakes. I don't think I will ever circumcise a boy of ours again after this experience. I know the majority of the time it turns out fine but I am not willing to risk the chance of something going wrong with such a vital organ. I am so proud at how strong Madse has been through it all! That little boy is something special!

I Just Can't Do It

After reading a friend's post back in November, I decided to go musicless on my blog for the sake of my few and faithful readers. The last thing I want is for someone to think twice before visiting because I have music playing. I tried...I REALLY tried to keep it quiet and I lasted an impressive six months but I adore music too much and am constantly hearing music that I want to listen to! It is so convenient to put it all on a playlist and listen as I look at everyone else's blogs and to have exceptional music associated with my blog. I like to think that my impeccable taste in music is appreciated and that I can share songs that I love with my friends who so thoughtfully come by to read. So if the tunes I listen to aren't quite your style or if it is just too loud press your mute button and enjoy my blog silently and if the tunage sways you to not visit so often, know that your visits are missed!

Once There Was A Snowman...Small...small...small

He's gotta crooked smile!

I finished this little guy just in time for the sunny springtime! Poor thing will have to wait to be displayed until next winter, which I don't even want to think about with all of this lovely spring weather!

It was my first time doing needlepoint applique. I like how finished this method of applique looks but it is a bit time consuming for my taste. I am glad for the experience but I will stick with fusible web applique. I also pieced the back of this wall hanging, not because I thought it would tie into the front of the quilt but because I cut my backing fabric too short! Creating more work for myself...yup...that's how I roll!

I wanted to document this little wintry thing because it's getting sent off to a blog friend (I am pretty sure she doesn't read my blog too often so the surprise wont be ruined.). I did this little giveaway last year and I am finally getting around to sending some of them off. So if you were wondering where your handmade item was, I am working on it and you will get it sometime before I die!

Just The Beginning!

I recieved this photo in a text the other night!

My baby sister is getting married!

Finito...FINALLY!!!!

If you know me, you know that I am not a finisher of things! I go full throttle into things and all too soon it loses it's excitement and allure and becomes work and then my attention is diverted to something that will give me a more instant gratification. I am embarrassed to say that this project took me fifteen months to complete! So humiliating! It was the quilting that kicked my heiny! Maybe those swirls were a bit too ambitious for this novice ( I still consider myself a beginner even though I have been sewing for six years.). I unpicked them a million times. I am learning a lot though. In my perfect quilty world I would have a long arm quilting machine and the room for it. Hello! Reality check...all I have is my little Bernina and my wittle sewing closet so I will just learn to make due! This little beauty is going to my friendy friend Tracy for all the times she drove my kids to school and for just being so amazing!

Next on the To Do list:

• Quilt and bind and send snowman wall hanging to bloggy friend


• Sew Easter dresses and skirts for the girls and maybe a tie for the boy IF I have time.


• Finish my Gingham Rose quilt. (All the blocks are sewn I just have to piece it together and quilt it.)


• Finish my mom's sampler.

Let's just hope that it doesn't take me over a year to get it all done!

fun.

Ch ch check it! An instant pick me up...happiness in a tune! Makes my toes tap! fun. an indie pop band with the former lead singer from The Format. Good stuff, Maynard!

Always An Enterer Never A Winner!

I am a sucker for giveaways, especially when the giveaway involves delish fabric! However, no matter how many I enter, I just never seem to win a darn thing! I figure that maybe THIS time I will get lucky...or the next time or the time after that! I'll just keep trying! ( I use the word just a lot. I had to remove a few because there were just too many...see! I just did it again...oops...I have a serious problem!) Amy@ Park City Girl soon to be Amy's Creative Side is giving away this goodness!

I am a tad bit addicted to quilting blogs and tutorials! If you wanna make something you just google it and add "tutorial" to it and presto...there is inspiration at your fingertips and people out there who have done the hard work and are willing to walk you through it so you can just (he he) breeze through a project. I keep adding blogs to my favorite folders thinking,"Oh I can make that!" or, "Why didn't I think of that?!" It inspires me to actually get to work creating, that if these ladies can do it then I don't have to just (sigh) dream about sewing amazing things I can do it and you can do it too! With that, I am off to create!